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To Foster Your Own Emotional Wellness

by Dr. Mark Lerner 

Chairman, The National Center for Emotional Wellness


1.  Become aware of your feelings and try to label them (e.g., “I’m feeling nervous.” “I’m feeling sad.” “I’m        feeling frustrated.” etc.).


2.  Try to identify your thoughts and how they are precipitating, or being influenced by, a feeling (e.g.,              “I’ve been thinking about how I responded to her and I’m feeling angry.”).


3.  Learn to accept that feelings are not right or wrong … they just are.


4.  Slow down and think before you act; make goal-directed choices.


5.  Realize that you have the ability to choose your focus—what you think about.


6.  If you find yourself thinking repetitively about something that is causing you emotional discomfort,            identify the thought and try to dismiss it (e.g., “Stop it. This is not productive.”).


7.  Know that it’s OK not to be OK during considerable challenges and change. Allow yourself to                        experience normal reactions in the face of an abnormal event.


8.  If you are grappling with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, distract yourself and change what you      are doing (e.g., Take a walk. Exercise. Listen to music. Speak with a friend or loved one. etc.).


9.  Speak with people with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings—people who listen more            than they speak. Rely on interpersonal face-to-face communication.


10. Strive to become the person that you would ideally like to be. While this may be a hypothetical                   construct, something that can’t be directly observed and subject to influence by the world around             you, choose your “bullseye.”





Dr. Mark Lerner

Chairman, The National Center for Emotional Wellness

© 2023 by Dr. Mark Lerner

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