Finding the Right People to Talk to During a Crisis
An AI-Integrated Emotional Wellness™ Perspective
Chairman, National Center for Emotional Wellness
Principal Consultant and Creator, AI-Integrated Emotional Wellness™
Have you been feeling alone and confused? Are people saying they’re “sorry” and embracing you? Are your friends asking what they can do? The closeness and support help, but the pain, emptiness, fear, and loneliness may continue.
One of the most important things you can do is continue to communicate—resisting the temptation to shut down, withdraw, and avoid others. Sharing your thoughts and feelings is important and finding the right people to talk to during a crisis can make all the difference.
People are not always the best listeners. Those who know and love you most may be so disturbed by your situation that they offer impulsive suggestions to help you feel better quickly. Sometimes, they need to feel better quickly!
Your friends and loved ones may tell you that they know what you’re going through ... that they know how you feel ... that you’ll feel better with time ... that it could have been much worse ... that everything will be okay. These well-intended “band-aid” statements can increase your feelings of aloneness and lead you to keep your feelings to yourself. Instead of feeling understood, you may feel that you need to stop talking about what hurts.
So, to whom should you turn? And how can you turn off all the advice?
First, explain to those who care deeply for you that you need to talk. You don’t need answers. You need to “vent”—to let out your bottled-up thoughts and feelings. You might simply say, “I appreciate that you want to help. Right now, I just need to speak. You don’t have to fix this.”
Many people find comfort in sharing their pain with a friend or loved one who has experienced a similar event. There’s a feeling of, “She understands what I’m going through.” Others find that understanding in a peer support group or by speaking with a mental health professional.
The right person doesn’t have to know exactly how you feel or have experienced precisely what you’re facing. What matters is a willingness to listen, accept and respect your feelings, and be present without rushing you to feel better.
AI-Integrated Emotional Wellness™ (AIEW) integrates evidence-based techniques, strategies, tools, and support with the irreplaceable value of genuine human presence. AI can provide practical information, help you organize your thoughts, and suggest ways to communicate what you need.
But access to information—even information that feels supportive—will never replace our need for genuine human presence. A response on a screen can't replace being with someone who cares, listens, and is willing to remain with us when there are no easy answers.
We need people with whom we can speak openly. People who can hear our pain without telling us how we should feel. People who understand that their presence may mean more than anything they could say.
I often say that what helps us the most isn’t what people say—it’s often what they don’t say.
No matter with whom you choose to speak, remember this: you are the expert in being you. And no one has the right to tell you how you should feel.
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